I am leaving in a little more then 28 hours to go on my most expensive vacation EVER and i am sooooooooooo tired i can't even freak out at the fact that I am barely half packed...

zzz

sometimes I think other people must see me as this shallow rebellious daughter that has extended my rebellious years beyond the teenage years and that is why I have no faith and skip church and spend all my money on pretty things and clothes and vacations and spend all my time with my boyfriend and don't put any effort into other relationships you know to fail safe in case it doesn't work out with steven and i crash and burn and end up middle aged depressed with no careerer money or kids or success or life....

and then i remember, noone is suppose to be more clear then myself looking out instead of other people looking in.

or is it?
who knows?

ON ANOTHER NOTE
i have a broken ankle which is actually totally unrelated to getting laser eye surgery since i got my eyes done after i broke my ankle....

ALSO today i spent 60 dollars on a shirt that was not worth $60. I knew it wasn't worth that much. I didn't even want it that much but I bought it anyways. The sales lady looked so deperate. IN FACT she literally chased me out of the store. *shrug* why not. I like the shirt about $40 worth. and i guess chasing me out of the store is worth the other $20.

so, by some miracle, i managed to get my room clean :O

now... if only by some other miracle, it stays clean for more then 2 days :D